Duchisms, Dunks, and Duchdowns

Nice Knowin’ Ya

Tom Duch — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 03:11:58 +0000

Sorry for the inconvenience but Duchisms will be under construction for the time being. Just to remind everyone of my Super Bowl pick:

Ravens over Packers

My Football National Championship pick:

Roll damn tide!!

and my Royal Rumble selection:

Dolph Ziggler

Thanks for all the support, but there’s work to be done right now. Happy Holidays ladies and gents.

Holy BOLEY!

Tom Duch — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 01:19:55 +0000

In case you missed this during yesterday’s Giants game, here is a video you have to see. After Michael Boley scooped up the fumbled lateral he took it all the way to the house for six, in a typical, I don’t know what to do to celebrate a touchdown I play defense moment, after getting in the endzone Boley takes the ball and attempts to rocket it against the wall. Well that or he really didn’t like the way this Giants intern was conducting his business and not celebrating the TD, and threw him a brushback. Not the way I would choose to celebrate a score, but I guess he got caught in the moment. Always keep your eye on the ball kid.

Or try it in super SLOW MO to really feel his pain.

Air McFly’s

Tom Duch — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 21:52:03 +0000

This is probably the coolest shoe that will ever come out…scratch that, definitely the coolest, flyest shoe ever. Well Marty McFlyest to be exact.

From September 8-17, every day 150 pairs of the Nike Mag Back to the Future throwback shoe will be auctioned off. The shoes are a remake of the classic Nike’s that McFly wore in BTTF 2. They do light up, but unfortunately they do not come equipped with the famous power lacing feature. If you watch the video below you’ll see Doc asking about power lacing, and upset that the shoes aren’t equipped with it, goes BACK TO THE FUTURE to 2015 so he doesn’t have to bend his old butt over to lace up his kicks.

I love this idea and I love the shoe, unfortunately the auctions are fetching quite a bit for each pair. If you check Ebay, each pair is going for around 3-5 grand. Insane yes, but the bids continue to McFly in day after day. Pricey yes, but the more they end up going for the better because all the proceeds will go to the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s research. So for all you thousandaires out there keep bidding.

TD celebrations: The Best Ever

Tom Duch — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 00:31:07 +0000

The NFL season is out of the starting block giving millions of people the chance to celebrate. And what better way to celebrate then by busting out a touchdown dance. Here’s a look at some of the best endzone dances over the years given to us by a guy who’s probably never scored a TD ever…ever.

Fantasizing Pt. 3: Best Names

Tom Duch — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 01:05:56 +0000

A couple times every draft you come across some guys who you just have to give a double take. You give the, why is this guy ranked so high I’ve never even heard of him. You might even get one of the weisenheimers in your league to quote Sandlot and say, “who is she!?” This year I think that guy is Daniel Thomas. Last year, and still at a decent standing this year even after being injured last year, Montario Hardesty. I got a friend who’s talked nothing but high praise on Monty the past two years, while after I took him in one league another guy responded, “what the heck is a Montario Hardesty!??”

Everybody loves a good name, especially a good team name. Despite all his troubles and big fall from grace, I continue to honor Ric Flair with my team, The Nature Boys. My guys are at the top of their game so I’m not going to think about changing the name; but if I did what would I choose….

Click HERE to view a list of the best names from last season. Some of my personal favorites, not including Revis & Butthead which was one of my team names last year.

Whatchu talkin bout HILLIS?

Medulla AMENDOLA

FAVRE Dollar Footlongs

Forgetting Brandon Marshall

and for those who like the inapropriate stuff- VICK in a Box and SUH Girls, One Cup

and there’s a bunch of good ones for Chad Henne:

OMG they killed HENNE

HENNE Given Sunday

HENNE Nut Cheerios

If you think long and hard about it, anyone can come up with a good fantasy name. Just depends who’s on your team and how well you channel your inner Chris Berman.

Any thoughts on a Nucky Thompson shout out:

Mike Sims-Walk Empire…..

Send me your favorites.

Fantasizing Pt. 2: The 1st Pick Quandry

Tom Duch — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 04:19:25 +0000

So you have the first pick in your draft and you don’t know what to do. Adrian Peterson has been the top guy for years but Arian Foster was the biggest producer last season. Then out of left field there’s Michael Vick who often played like the leagues best in some of the best fantasy weeks seen in year. So who do you take???

I say add the D and take Adrian over Arian. I had the chance to draft first in one of my leagues and I jumped at the opportunity to take AP. He’s all business, he runs hard, he scores a lot, and he looks good in purple. I don’t need any of this hammy pulling, pissed off tweeting that Bananas Foster brings with him…too much baggage.

Foster was looking like Emmitt Smith in the preseason before coming up lame with a hamstring pull. I’ve pulled a hammy before and let me tell you, it takes a long time to heal. I know the Texans medical staff is better than a tube of Bengay, but I’m just saying. One of my teammates said of my pulled hammy, “oh that sucks, that will get better uh….never!”

Speaking of injuries, Vick is an injury waiting to happen with the way he plays. He almost never plays a full season and when the Eagles are running away with their division and they sit Mike during those crucial fantasy playoff weeks don’t say I told you so. FYI, ESPN the Magazine did a great job with their last article that was virtually all about Vick. It almost makes you want to route for the guy….but wait, he’s an Eagle. So that’s not gonna happen.

I hope he hasn't thinned out too much from eating all that Subway

The straw that broke the camels back for me was Foster’s tweet about he got injured.

ArianFosterArian Foster

4 those sincerely concerned, I’m doing ok & plan 2 B back by opening day. 4 those worried abt your fantasy team, u ppl are sick

Sure I care about your injury, I care that it is going to effect my fantasy squad. If you don’t want to play for me, I’ll find someone else who will. Then he took it to the next level:

ArianFosterArian Foster

I know opinions are usually cement. But, I love all my fans. My quarrel is with people who value a digital game over a humans health.

#love

It’s pretty popular Mr. Foster, they even made a channel for fantasy guys everwhere, it’s called the RedZone channel. Get with the program and get back to putting on that Bengay. Foster later tweeted an x-ray of his hammy and John Clayton responded on his Twitter, stating that it was torn. I’m no doctor, but John Clayton is darn close to being one when it comes to football.

I did go ahead and take Foster with the 5th pick in another league and I was extremely happy to get him in that spot. I was also happy that he took a shot at the Tom Brady loving, Dustin Pedroia butt kissing New Englander that is…Colin Cowherd.

ArianFosterArian Foster

Did you want to be a critic as a child? Or did your dreams die with your humility? RT @ESPN_Colin Hey Arian Foster—
‘We really do care about you as a human too. Um,now about that hammy?
–signed, everybody

Fantasizing Pt 1: The Lucky Rabbits Foot

Tom Duch — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 02:25:16 +0000

Football season is just around the corner which means one thing for supposed football experts everywhere: fantasy football is in full swing. The season kicks off next Thursday so this is a huge week for drafts. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that it takes a lot of luck throughout the year to win a fantasy title.

I’ve won a couple in my day, and I’m not going to lie, I got lucky down the stretch. Whether it’s schedule, standings, weather, or whatever things factor in to what happens with your guys, you can’t win a ring without having good old lady luck on your side. Case in point, last year in my big league, The Rogers Annual, the historically worst player over the past two years took home the trophy. This is a guy who can barely spell football, picked Matt Forte in the first round, and didn’t have Vick.

Going from the basement to the penthouse definitely takes a little luck, especially when you’re facing a perennial playoff team and one that was runner-up last season, my team, The Nature Boys. It turned out that the same guy who didn’t produce for me the year before had a big day in helping Team Jason Kidd (yea that’s right, the guy has a basketball players name for his fantasy football team) win the big one. Thanks for nothin Dwayne Bowe. Two years in a row taking second, now I know how Jim Kelly feels.

That's right Jim, two fingers for #2

EARTHQUAKE

Tom Duch — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 03:56:52 +0000

Hope everyone is okay after the earthquake that made news up and down the east coast. People talked of shaking buildings, hiding under desks, and evacuations. I somehow missed the action and didn’t feel a thing, even though I was in the same area at the same time. I kind of wish I did, but then again I’ve seen my share of Natural Disasters…

More Embarrassing QB….

Tom Duch — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 02:30:34 +0000

Sanchise not knowing his size with the tight white pants to accompany his Broadway Joe coat. Better get those wears in before Labor Day Mark.

He’s a 2-time MVP and 3-time Super Bowl champ….and he has a sensitive side. Cute Tom, real cute.

OR the wild card: speaking of Broadway Joe….

Circus Pitch

Tom Duch — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 04:15:31 +0000

This pitch brings the term “circus play” to a whole new level. Click the link below to see the video of Cirque Du Soleil’s Ka throwing out the best first pitch since the dead ball era.

Is he a lefty, is he a righty…you don’t know for sure until the pitch is delivered. Might be called a balk, but we’ll let him slide for the style points, for sticking the landing, and for delivering the ball right on the money. John Wall, take some notes.

Click HERE to watch the pitch

And in case you didn’t see the John Wall pitch….GOOOOOOO!