Posted by: Tom Duch | April 13, 2009

Master of his domain

After outlasting Kenny Perry in a sudden-death playoff on Sunday, Angel Cabrera became the 2009 Masters champ. In only his second career PGA tour victory, El Pato outlasted the field and took home the illustrious green jacket. Unlike Perry, El Pato (the duck) didn’t lay an egg to end his round. Perry bogeyed the 17th and 18th, thus letting a couple players back in the hunt (or on this day an Easter egg hunt). Cabrera won with great play, clutch shots, and what seemed like an entire case of Big League Chew. I’m not sure what exactly he was chewing, but he was doing it constantly, much like when he won the US Open he was chain smoking cigarettes like a fiend. Whatever the case, it sure helped calm his nerves and stay cool under the pressure.

With a nickname like El Pato, Cabrera doesn’t need a Duchism. However, here is a list of a few names I came up with from the Masters field that made it to Sunday:

Aaron ‘the good, the BADDELEY, and the ugly” or
Aaron “BADDELEY news bears”
Steve “in the FLESCH”
Sean “the tortoise & the O’HAIRE”
Bartender… Rory SABBATINI- shaken not stirred
Justin “every ROSE has its thorn”
Dudley “achy breaky HART”
Ryuji Imada… HADUKEN!!
Mike “WEIR not gonna take it” or
Mike “WEIR in the world is carmen sandiego”

Here is another list from a couple players who got cut after round 2:

Adam “great SCOTT!”
Jeev Singh… “JEEV louise”
Y.E. “ying YANG”
“peeka-BOO” Weekley
Ernie “what ELS is new”
Briny Baird- don’t really have one for this guy, but it’s just a really good name (maybe BRINY dancer for those Elton fans out there)
Fuzzy Zoeller- just another great sports name

One of my favorite Chris Berman nicknames has got to be Retief “duck, duck, GOOSEN.” A great nickname and a great children’s game as well.


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